Mothers and Sons
by Allinloveisfair
Summary: Hermione Granger could never forget the death of Lucius Malfoy, and as she pushed away the people closest to her she began to become obsessed. So when an unexpected visitor arrives, can she keep her head for long enough to fall in love AU-includes suicide
1. Prologue

**Authors Note: I own nothing as usual!! Damn you JK Rowling, you thought of it first. **

**Well this is my new story, give it a try if you can handle it!**

Prologue

There are many ways to tell a story, and sometimes the story is not worth telling but it is a story nonetheless. And some stories can even change the course of history as we know it. This is one story that you will never forget…

The blonde man stood in front of the veil facing his opponent, his long hair flying behind him. He stared at the shaggy haired man in front of him with an unreadable expression.

'Stupefy!' he yelled loudly, pointing his wand at the younger man with a stylish flick.

'Protego!' the young man screeched the shield spell quickly before the jet of light could hit him. The blonde man dodged with surprising agility as the spell he had cast returned to him. To the casual observer the blonde man was the epitome of aristocratic snobbery, his grey eyes and straight back holding within them the tempest of his youth that had been restrained through years of cold disdain, but to the young woman watching the battle from the shadows there was something more to this man. There was a storm clouding in those grey eyes, a storm that brewed and bubbled, like there was something he was fighting. Like a silent war inside his mind. To Hermione Granger this was the beginning of a new idea on the man before her, an idea that would change all their lives forever.

'Come on, you don't believe all this blood supremacy crap! You don't have to kill anymore. Think of her, think of Hermione, every time you hurt someone you are killing a part of her! STOP!' The voice he recognised as his own echoed in the back of his mind. But another voice, more of a hiss than a voice, drowned out his own.

'Kill him' it urged. It resounded in his head drowning out his own voice. But he knew he had to fight it. He tried to concentrate on the himself, on his feelings but he couldn't. The hiss continued to echo getting louder and louder.

'KILLL HIM! KILL HIM'

As the battle between the voices raged in his mind, his concentration waned. The thin, shaggy haired man shook his head in pure shock. This man, this great and powerful wizard was drowning in shallow water. From behind him he could hear the demonic laughter of his cousin, as she cast the spell that would end his life. He ducked quickly but the green light shot over his head and directly into the dazed aristocrat. The man was knocked backwards with the force of the spell and as his eyes lost their life he began to float in the veil behind him. As he faded into the veil and the pops of apparation began, a resounding cry of anguish from the young woman in the shadows could be heard echoing around the department of Mysteries. Lucius Malfoy was dead.

**Death in the first Chapter, how evil am I? Don't worry the sex god will be back!!**


	2. Razor Blades of Guilt

**Authors Note: Do I have to? Oh alright… I own nothing!!**

Razor Blades of Guilt

Hedonism, power in life without end

Morality and remorse banished

An epitaph of useless beliefs and countless mistakes

Left to the outcasts.

Those who were found guilty for self torment

Never admitting so, betrayed by their shiver

While mutilating their happiness

With razor blades of guilt

Razor Blades of Guilt-Sceptic Flesh

_The two men threw hexes at each other in rapid succession each one avoiding the other man narrowly. Somewhere at Hogwarts Harry was battling Voldermort with the rest of the death eaters and the other order members. But Hermione's dream eyes were fixated on the blonde man. He had said that he loved her. He couldn't love her she was only 17 , it was wrong. Wasn't it? Anyway, the age wasn't the issue. He was a death eater. Evil. Hermione looked into his grey eyes searching for some sort of indication that a soul resided in those hollow holes. What she saw shocked her to the core. The storm of the imperious curse was clouding his eyes. He was fighting it but he couldn't. He floundered. Hermione's eyes widened as she saw Bellatrix raise her wand above her head. _

'_Avada Kedavra' the witch screamed the curse loudly, Her psychotic laugh ringing in the bushy haired girls ears. Sirius ducked. But the curse hit Lucius in the chest. His eyes remained open as he floated back and the scream that issued from Hermione's lips carried through to the world of the living. _

Hermione Granger sat on the edge of her bed heaving heavily. Another night of dreams. Dreams that showed the moment when Bellatrix Lestrange had killed Lucius Malfoy. She knew that the storm she had seen behind his eyes that day in the department of Mysteries three years ago, were the effects of imperio. Did that mean he wasn't so evil after all? Had he really meant all the things he had done ? Did he truly love her?

These were the thoughts that plagued Hermione night after night as Ron slept on totally oblivious. Everyone had expected them to get together, especially after Harry proposed to Ginny. Molly had pushed them. Continuing to ask when their wedding would be. So after the final death eaters were caught, they had done what was expected of them. But it wasn't right. Kissing Ron was like kissing a brother and Hermione was sure that he felt the same way.

'Morning 'Mione' He stretched widely. Almost immediately he saw her position on the edge of the bed. He sighed. When they had begun he would climb into her bed and keep her company but now? She didn't even go to sleep for long anymore. The dreams had haunted his ex and best friend for months and recently she had begun to talk about how she could have "saved Malfoy". What was there to save? He was evil and he was dead. End of Story.

'Another dream?' he asked softly. She turned to face the red head, dazed.

'huh?'

'I said: Another dream?' Her rosebud lips made a pretty 'o' shape and she nodded. She sighed, her long hair resting on her shoulders. A picture of those mysterious grey eyes formed in her mind, she stared at them through imaginary eyes. Suddenly they began to change. They turned blue, like ice and when the focus moved a rugged black haired man, younger than Sirius but of similar features came into view. She shook her head, confused at the image. Meanwhile, Ron sensing that there would be no more conversation this morning, stood up. He had grown up a lot during the war and if there was one thing he learnt it was when someone needed to be alone, you left them. Kissing her lightly on the cheek, he left. Without a word.

Meanwhile…

Narcissa Malfoy stood elegantly in front of the family portrait she had insisted on. She smiled at the memory of the day she had asked it of him.

--Flashback--

'_I want a muggle family portrait.' she had announced one day. Lucius' brow furrowed as he lifted his face from the book. _

'_May I ask why?' Narcissa smiled at her husband._

'_Just because, you wouldn't deny me that would you?' She gave him her best puppy dog eyes and he chuckled deeply. _

'_Oh yes, because your so poor and I know how devastated you were when you found out the manner __**only**__ had 120 bedrooms. What primitive dwellings, I'm sure daddy gave you much better.' Narcissa chuckled lightly at her husbands words._

'_Of course not, __**dear**__, why would you think such a thing of your __**darling**__ wife?' Lucius rolled his eyes in sarcasm._

'_I have no idea. How could I be so heartless?' He face looked thoroughly unamused but she could tell that underneath it all he was laughing. _

'_Whatever you think is best Cissy, I trust your judgement. Just be careful. The Dark Lord cannot hear of this.' Nodding solemnly she walked away._

--End Of Flashback--

Her long platinum hair, so similar to her husbands, flowed gently down her lace covered back. Her features were noble and aristocratic and she held herself like a true lady. The soft lacy nightgown she wore accentuated her curvy hips and slim body. But what did all that matter now? Even her bright blue eyes that had once held so much life had turned dull and lost their light that had made them shine so much. She was numb. She had not felt the normal kind of love that a wife should feel for her husband for Lucius and she had never lusted after him either. He was like the brother she had never been fortunate enough to have. She looked at the picture, committing his elegant features to memory. She regretted her decision for a muggle picture now as she could not see the mannerisms that she had become so accustomed to. That made her feel safe with him. But she always preferred the muggle way and she would continue to do so even in death. She produced the rope from behind her back like an old muggle magician from the time when movies were grainy and grey. She tied it loosely around the chandelier in a knot her muggle teacher had taught her from when he was in the navy.

'Don't do this Cissy, I'm still alive. Can't you hear my voice? I know I was never the best husband and I put you and Draco in so much danger but you must listen! Please Cissy, don't do this!!' The soft voice that Lucius only used in the privacy of their bedroom filled her head with a force like a siren proclaiming that she was not as alone as she seemed. But it was a pointless sound. A droning that was nothing more than an annoying buzz in the distraught woman's ear.

'My son is dead because of the death and destruction caused by Voldermort and you, you are just a phantom. An echo of what was. I am alone and no-one will be here to stop me.' She screeched to the empty room. Narcissa slipped the loop of rope over her neck, took a deep breath and jumped.

That is how they found her, hanging over the balcony in her silent despair. It was over for her now.

Hermione stared at the paper in shock. That awful skeeter woman, having decided it was 'her duty to report the death of the last Malfoy' had written a report on Narcissa's suicide. She had included a family portrait. Hermione's eyes travelled to Lucius. When he had said he loved her, that night she had gone searching for a way to control the veil, she had told him he was crazy. She'd thought he was trying to gain her trust. To trick her. But when he looked in her direction during the last battle she began to doubt. That small seed of doubt once planted can grow to enormous sizes, and now she felt like it was all her fault. She should have seen the truth in his eyes when he had spoken to her. Her mother had once told her '**even miracles take time'**. She should have known. If she had listened maybe he would have joined the order, had the courage to break away from the Imperius that was holding him. Maybe he would have lived. For three years she had tortured herself with these thoughts. Things she could have done differently and now there was another life to add to her supply. Putting down her paper and the empty coffee cup she stood from the chair. Once upon a time she would have been devastated by the obvious disregard in which she treated her cutlery, haphazardly throwing it in the dishwasher. But now she couldn't care less. The numbness which had taken her over for the past three years made it almost impossible to feel anything. Once again she pushed down the guilt. Deep down until the sharp guilt like razor blades was nothing more than a dull ache. She walked to her bedroom her bare feet slapping against the wooden floor of her and Ron's apartment. The room where she spent most of her waking moments was her favourite in the whole apartment. The fresh white walls and bright blue woodwork that looked almost clinical could cheer her in her blackest moods. She pulled out her prim work robes from the blue wooden wardrobe. Hermione's job was something she never thought she would do and now she did she could tell no one about it. Only Harry, the only one who truly understood her, knew where she worked. He had not even told Ginny, who he had been engaged to marry for almost three years now. Hermione was an unspeakable.

When she arrived at the department of mysteries that fine Monday morning, she had no idea this day would change everything. Kingsley Shacklebolt, the new minister was there already, waiting. Waiting for her?

'Miss Granger, this way please' She blinked in confusion but followed nonetheless in a silent compliance she always had around Shacklebolt.

'He won't leave, he insists on waiting for you' Kingsley's face was set in a hard line and his voice was almost as brusque and dismissive as his walk.

'Excuse me sir, but who is waiting for me?'

'Him' Kingsley pointed to the left and there he was. He was tall, no more than 16 she conjectured despite his obvious height. His hair was blonde but thick and his eyes were like a deep well of chocolate. Somehow Hermione felt as if she knew him. As if she must protect him. Normally when presented with a specimen such as this, his muscled chest visible through his shirt, Hermione would have felt an immense attraction to this man. But somehow it felt wrong. It felt as if it shouldn't happen. He turned his handsome heart shaped face to her, pure relief evident on his features.

'Mother?'

**Mother? Who is this strange man and why does he think Hermione is his mother? Can anyone spot the quote or where its from?**


	3. Let's all Make Believe

**Authors Note: I own absolutely nothing damn it! (wish I did)**

Let's all make believe

Strangle my hope and make me pray

To a god I've never seen but who I betray

To the people who live the afterlife

And the place I'll never be 'til I'm crucified

So let's all make believe

Let's all make believe-Oasis

Life is just a dot in the garden of existence, a blot of ink on the page. And death? Well death is just the beginning.

Lucius felt the icy blast as the jet of green light hit him squarely in the chest. Suddenly he felt the magic that made him who he was trickle away as though through a drain. His eyes became glassy and unseeing like those of a cold dead corpse. The image of a beautiful seventeen year old floated in his mind for a few seconds, the face full of angelic despair, and that was the last thing he saw before the world went blank.

It was dark. There was no light and no sound. Nothing but the shapes of people moving in the darkness. Suddenly, through the silence a growl ripped through the air. The three figures in the shadows started. One, obviously the leader, moved towards the motionless figure lying on the floor.

'Try not to wake him, he's drained. Just get him away before they get here' The dark haired man instructed his two companions. He knew this man from the place before but hopefully he wouldn't remember him. Could he trust this man? Probably not. He must not know his identity. Never.

Lucius blinked and looked around him. The room he was in was dark and outside there was no sun in the sky. Just a light from an unknown source that streamed through the entrance of the room. Water dripped from the roof, stalactites hung down and almost touched his nose as he lay there. He sat up, trying to avoid any aggravation to injuries he may have sustained during the battle. But he felt nothing. No aches and pains and most importantly of all no overwhelming urge to kill. No bloodlust that could not be controlled no matter how hard he fought. He was free. Then it hit him. Where was the population? Surely if he was in, what he now knew was a cave, someone must have bought him here?

'Narcissa? Are you there?' When no answer came he stared into the darkness. Hoping beyond hope that he would see the dark shapes of movement. He hesitated.

'Miss Granger? Is it you?' A dark chuckle penetrated his ears from outside the entrance of the cave.

'How many women you got on the go Malfoy?' The owner of the voice stepped into the light. His eyes were an icy blue that pierced your soul with their depth and his shaggy black hair was brushed behind his ears in a gesture that was a sign of the gentry. The man could have been no more than nineteen but his eyes told Lucius he had seen more than a man his age should ever see. For a brief but heart stopping moment Lucius could swear that he knew this man. But he quickly brushed the thought away not wishing to feel anything at this moment.

'Who are you?' he asked, years of service with the Dark Lord making him wary.

'A friend,' the reply was short, to the point and not enough. No where near enough to satisfy Lucius insatiable curiosity.

'Name?'

'Be satisfied with friend for now Lucius, I will tell you soon enough', Lucius' jaw dropped.

'How do you know my name?' The young man lowered his head as if ashamed. His face was full of remorse that would make even the lowest man weep.

'A common friend', he replied softly. Lucius closed his eyes as if warding off a headache.

'I have no friends, only Cissy,' the young man looked up in shock. His eyes were wide as if he had heard that a new type of pigs had been found which could fly.

'Really?' he asked. His voice was an octave higher than usual, as it often was in times of fear and shock.

'yes,' he had not wanted to reveal this much about himself. Somehow no matter how hard he tried to stop himself the words continued to spill out in a flow of word vomit. He wanted to stop talking but his traitorous mouth continued to work of its own accord. Revealing things he would not have said in his right mind. The young man, noticing the older mans discomfort, smiled and offered advice.

'Don't worry you get used to it. I've found that if you just bend the truth instead of trying to lie, it works better', Lucius nodded and smiled gratefully at the other man. He continued what he was saying before the interruption.

'The only person I can think of that you mean is…'

'Voldermort' he finished almost silently. Lucius looked at the boy before him. He didn't look old enough to be a death eater. He didn't look evil enough to be so heartless. But then again, neither was he.

'You are either very brave or very foolish to speak his name' Lucius repeated his famous words that he had uttered that day at Diagon Alley. If this man supported Voldermort he had to protect himself. The man chuckled his dark chuckle.

'I'd like to think I'm brave but I think my brother would disagree' Lucius smiled at the bravado. The ice that had encased him all his life in aristocratic coldness cracking slightly for this small nugget of a smile.

'So you gonna sit there or you gonna get up and follow me?' Lucius stood up and looked around him.

'Where are we?' the man asked, pre-empting Lucius' question. Lucius nodded. ' The Gods honest truth? I don't know. There are many questions for which I have no answer. I don't know where we are, I don't know how we got here and I most definitely don't know what year it is.' The shaggy hair of the man shook as he spoke.

'Well at least give me a name, I cant very well call you friend now can I?' The man shuddered at the trust he was about to lay into this blonde haired man, but he needed someone to trust and he had a feeling that this was the man.

'I suppose you may call me Reg'

'As in Regulus?'

'My name is Regulus Arcturus Black and I am here to help you.' Lucius floundered in confusion.

'But…But your dead!' Regulus quirked an eyebrow.

'Who said that you weren't?'

**So next Chapter is back with Hermione. Can anyone spot the quote this time?**


	4. The Winner Takes It All

**Authors Note: I own Nowt…**

The Winner Takes It All

The gods may throw a dice

Their minds as cold as ice

And someone way down here

Loses someone dear

The winner takes it all

The loser has to fallIt's simple and it's plain

Why should I complain.

The Winner Takes It All-ABBA

The Department of mysteries seemed almost silent as the word flowed easily from the boys tongue. Hermione raised her eyebrows at the boy, what a silly thing to say to her. He was obviously not her son and he was just wasting her time.

'Excuse me young man, I think you have me confused with someone else' she said dismissively. She turned to walk away her bushy hair swinging as she spun.

'I think not mother,' the boys voice was silky and it reminded her of someone she'd rather forget. The anger rose in her at his impertinence.

'I am not your damn mother! And who do you think you are, speaking to me like that?!' Her nostrils flared and her hair crackled with angry magic. Despite her angry tone and the fire filled rage that was burning in her eyes, he smiled. Hermione was fuming now, he actually had the audacity to smile!

'They warned me you'd react like this. Father always told me when I was younger that you had a temper' The pain behind her eyes signifying the oncoming headache intensified and an intense white light of anger obscure her vision.

'Tell me who you are and what you want or I will hex you little boy. Don't think I wont!' He chuckled merrily.

'Oh, I know you will,' there was something comforting in his laugh and she felt her anger slowing ebbing away like the see on the shore. She breathed deeply the wind of breath blowing away the cobwebs of unpleasantness in her mind.

'Right, you calm now?' he asked in his smooth tones. Before she could stop herself, she nodded in dumb muteness. His smiled a sunny smile and began to speak.

'Well, I'm sure you know that there are many paths to the future but what I am certain you do not know about is the Gods.' She gasped in protest shaking her head at the wistful young man and his imaginative words.

'That's impossible, the Gods DO NOT exist. Do they?'

'You, above all people, should know that nothing is impossible. You, who bought Sirius Black back from the dead, you, who single handedly duelled six death eaters at once.' She looked around her as she felt the world slow down. The two no longer stood in the obsidian halls of the department of mysteries but in her alabaster stone office, the comfortable chair she usually sat on already under the backside of her supposed son. However apart from the melting sensation she had felt a few seconds before she had no recollection of how they had arrived there.

'How---' she began her stuttering speech, but he placed a finger to her lips and was soon interrupted by the silky tones of the boy in front of her.

'If you recall, I was telling a story. I shall recount the how's and why's at a later date. As I was saying, there are many roads to the future each one depending on the decisions we make. But sometimes the Gods feel the need to interfere, to create a certain… I believe you could say outcome. In your case, the birth of someone spectacular. In my future they have become restless and I, as your youngest, was sent to ensure that this occurs.' His voice finished on a haunting note that seemed to echo around the room. Hermione stared, slack-jawed, into his chocolate eyes so similar in shape and colour to her own. Flecks of grey flashed like mirrors reflecting the terrifying idea of a future she had no choice over. And a fear of the future that was hidden deep in her soul.

'I don't understand how this is possible. Who could I possibly have a child with that would make it so extraordinary?' Her musings were more to herself than to him, but he answered them nonetheless.

'There is a prophecy made by a lesser known seer named Lizzy Trelawney. She erased herself from time after an accident with time travel. They say she flitted between time zones as easily as apparation. But though she technically doesn't exist, her daughter remained and kept her prophecies for the use of the ministry Anyway, she prophesised this,

"He whose death bought great sorrow,

She who knows great knowledge,

May hearts of ages borrow,

For they hold the key in their blood."' Again the haunting note returned to his silky voice. The prophecy was vague and he knew that but what more could he do? She, however, smiled. The vagueness of the cursed prophecy was a blessing in disguise and it made her feel safe. It could be someone else's burden to carry through life, it could be someone else who must procreate with someone she didn't know!

'But that could mean anyone!' The last word in her sentenced was garbled with the happy laughter that lifted the spirits of any who heard it. He looked into her familiar eyes and saw that glee had replaced the fear that had earlier clouded them. His face was grave and sombre unmoved by the laugh which would usually have made him smile. The seriousness of this news would break her heart and it was no time for laughing.

'I'm so sorry mother. So terribly sorry. But it is all you. I know this with almost certainty and… well, your intelligent, I'll let you work out the rest' She knew he would speak no more for the moment. Until he was ready of course.

'So, the prophecy must happen to me. Well if it is love that requires the fulfillment I think I can live with it' she lied quickly seeing the destroyed expression on his face. A smile lit up his face.

'You're a terrible liar.' she laughed nervously and stared straight into those eyes. The fear she had been hiding finally showing honestly in her voice as she spoke her next words.

'**If there's so much I must be can I still just be me? The way I am?**' The boy stared at his mother. This woman who had been so strong in his childhood and whose fiery temper had made even his father back down over the years was being reduced to near tears by a sixteen year old boy. Without even thinking about his actions he wrapped his long arms around her. He felt her body shift into the comforting embrace. She inhaled his smell that seemed so familiar to her.

'You can do anything, I know you can' She nodded against his chest and pulled herself away from her son.

'Thank you, you don't know how much I needed that.' He nodded silently.

'I must say goodbye now mother. I love you,' he turned away from her before she could see the sheen of his own tears.

'Oh yes, before I forget take this and remember to follow your heart,' he put his pale hand in his pocket and pulled out a book. It red leather binding had been lovingly put together, the end papers were gold when she opened the first page and the smooth leather smelt like new book. Hermione turned the book in her hands feeling its smooth surface a sniffing the comforting scent. A photograph slipped out from under the cover as she turned it over in her hands. There she was, an older more wrinkled her but her nonetheless and she was surrounded by four teenagers. The two girls stood by her side and the two boys, one similar to the boy she had just met, had their arms round their sisters. But her husband was nowhere to be seen. The children's faces were magical to her. She ran her finger over their pale faces and imagined them. She imagined her children for a bit longer before slipping the photo back between the pages. On the front of the book she noticed some small gold letters. She read the gold lettering and her heart stopped. It read : This is the diary of Hermione Jean ---'

The music pumped loudly and the walls shook with the force of it. Ex dragon keeper Charlie Weasley stood on the other side of the bar, staring a Hermione sitting dejectedly on a bar stool. A headache was forming between her eyes, as the lights flashed around the dance floor of the club.

'Give me another Ogden's Charlie' Hermione demanded of the red headed bartender.

'Mia don't you think you ought to slow down?' Charlie glanced at her flushed face anxiously.

'Look Charlie, if I wanted a lecture, I'd go to Remus or Kim. Anyone but you' Charlie slipped the drink across the bar and walked away from the tipsy young woman. If she didn't want his help, he certainly wasn't going to force it on her. Not even noticing his disgruntled departure, she turned her head to the dance floor. Sirius, who she had freed from the veil the night that Lucius had died., danced excitedly between two blonde girls. The girls, for they could be barely out of Hogwarts, wore mini skirts and halter neck tops which showed their skinny bodies. A shot of the all too familiar jealousy coursed through Hermione's drunken body as she watched them rub unashamedly against Sirius. The feeling made bile rise into her throat and the headache between her eyes intensify. She had long had a crush on Sirius and when she saw him gyrating with the bimbos on the dance floor the jealousy rose again. She turned away quickly and stared into the amber liquid of her drink.

'Hey, you gonna get up and dance or what?' Sirius' voice was low and husky and his breath in her ear sent shivers down her spine. She spun round to find his face inches from her own. She gasped at the close proximity. Her mind and heart however were not paying attentions to her bodies reactions, they were focused on the visit from her son and the diary he had given her. Her mouth, totally unconnected from her mind worked of its own accord.

'I don't dance Sirius' she said sighing. 'Can I not just stay here with my fire whiskey?' Sirius frowned at her and studied her face. Since he had been rescued she had grown from the beautiful young woman who rescued him to the sexy but desperately sad woman who sad before him. She was smiling but her smile did not reach her sad brown eyes. In her eyes he could see confusion and misery that bought a tear to his own eyes. She was beautiful, smart and the kindest girl he had ever met and yet she hid herself away. Brooding. Brooding over the past that could not be changed.

'No. I bought you here to have fun and fun you shall have,' he held out his hand for her to take and felt a spark of electricity flow down his arm at her touch. He dragged her to the dance floor, her dragging her heels all the way. As the song began he wrapped his arms around her in a mock slow dance stance. She laughed merrily at his antics. And even he knew this was her first real laugh in a long time. On the sidelines Harry and Ron watched as their best friend danced comically with the older man. She was enjoying herself for the first time in three years and they felt terrible. How could they, who professed to love her so deeply, allow her to become so miserable and so fixated on the terrible incidents that had occurred? What kind of friends were they? Just then as they contemplated the doom of their friendship Ginny appeared beside them.

'She looks so happy doesn't she? You'd never know how depressed she is' The boys nodded in silence as the red headed girl voiced their fears.

Little did they know they were not the only ones watching the cheerful couple. In the shadows, away from prying eyes, a shimmering figure watched them dance. The music booming to the beat of his heart or at least it would. If it still beat.

**I bet you can guess whose watching them. But can you find the quote hidden in the text?**


	5. You've Got A Friend In Me

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. Nothing's mine yada yada**

You've Got A Friend in me

When the road looks rough ahead  
And you're miles and miles  
From your nice warm bed  
Just remember what your old pal said  
Boy, you've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me  
You've got troubles, well I've got 'em too  
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you  
We stick together and we see it through

Randy Newman-You've got a friend in me

Regulus watched as Lucius' consciousness slipped away into his first haunting. Time moved in mysterious ways when you're dead and so does memory but he could vaguely recall his own first haunting. When someone who had died in anger the way they had felt strongly enough about something they could have a haunting. A visit to the other side. A moment and only a moment when their consciousness slips back to the land of the living. His first and only had been to see his brother one last time. Sirius had never known it but Regulus loved him deeply and towards the end of his short life he had wanted to join with him, but he never got the chance. He had seen him, rotting away in that dank azkaban cell and his heart broke in two. He had never gone on a haunting again. Lucius however was seeing something much happier and much more worthwhile. The woman he loved. While Regulus was lost in these thoughts Lucius had begun his haunting.

The familiar pull normally felt during apparation dragged his soul from the place he had been deserted in. She was the only voice that he could dare to hear. His only hope was to see her again. Just then, he arrived in the room he had aimed for. The music was loud and imposing. She did not belong in a dingy club like this, but what he do in his current state? Turning his silvery form towards the dance floor, he saw her at last. He froze. Sirius Black his 'dear' cousin-in-law was dancing with his beautiful Hermione. But that wasn't what made him freeze what made him freeze was that he had not felt the pang of jealousy that he accepted, he felt nothing. Was he that incapable of feeling? A stab of ice hit his still heart. She wasn't his anymore. Even as soon as the thought entered his head another rudely pushed it aside

.

'She was never yours!' It screamed. He raised his hands to cover his ears but what use is blocking your ears when the sound is _inside_ your head? Over the din of the club and the voices in his own head her laugh floated over clear as any bell. It was harmonious and sweet as music. He stood in the dark corner of the dark club, its dingy pits of darkness hiding the silvery form of his haunted soul and he watched. He'd always loved to watch. To watch the faces and surroundings, to know things others could not just by seeing things others did not. Though being in the company of that serpent of a man did not always bring with it the joy of seeing as the things one could see with him were the kind of things that haunted a man's dreams. This time what he could observe bought warmth to his heart he had never allowed himself to feel before her. The face of Hermione Granger contorted into an expression of joy he had never seen her wear. A thought that made the warmth dull filled his head.

'Black is making her happier than you _ever_ could. Remember when you told her how you felt?'

FLASHBACK

Hermione skipped happily into the kitchen at Grimmauld Place. The comforting smell of Molly's cooking filled the inhabitants nostrils and on the surface Grimmauld Place seemed like home away from home she had been searching for since her parents deaths. But darkness lurks in the hearts of the content, secrets always blow cobwebs into your hair. And that day in the kitchen, secrets were everywhere. Lucius lurked in the shadows hiding until he knew no one else would see. He almost choked when he saw her again. Silently he pointed his wand at the door. It slammed shut, the click as it locked the only sound in the room. She, who had turned to grab something from the cupboard above, jumped in shock at the sound. She whirled around wand in hand and stared around the room. If anyone had seen her they would have sworn they saw he ears prick up like a meerkats.

Lucius, seeing his chance stepped forward from the shadows, hands up in a silent surrender, Splash…tick-tock…creak. The house spoke to them. Splash…tick-tock…creak. It's voice capturing the spirit of the tension within the pregnant silence. Suddenly, smashing the silence, she spoke.

'What are you doing here? You… get out of here you dirty deatheater scum!' she screeched like a banshee and Lucius flinched at her tone and words. Words he had heard all his life but never really registered in his Imperius induced state.

'I…' he began but he barely released a word from his thin bloodless lips when she interrupted once again.

'I cant believe this is happening. I've been a good friend, a good student. But they always do this to me!' she looked up, 'You're testing me aren't you?' If he were not so terrified of the beautiful formidable young woman he would have laughed. But instead he laid a gentle hand on her arm.

'I am here because I love you' Suddenly, her arm flew out. With a resounding slap her hand connected with his pale face.

'You vile, loathsome cockroach! I hate you! Your lucky I can't kill you' she screamed her face screwed up in contempt. When next she spoke her voice was dangerously low, 'Get out'.

END FLASHBACK

He cast one last longing look at her beautiful face and clapped his hands. As soon as his palms connected his silvery form disappeared. His heart now heavier than ever he sank down onto his haunches. She had forgotten him. But who could blame her after all he'd done? He had never agreed with voldermort only joining to please his blood puritan father, but there is only so long you can hide. Eventually he was forced by the Imperius to do things no person should ever have to do. But she didn't know that. She just saw the deeds he was forced to do and assumed they were done of free will.

'I am a monster' he whispered. Regulus had a similar story from Lucius except when he realised the horrors of Voldermort he had stolen one of his horcruxes and been killed for treachery. He stared at the great man he had idolised as a boy. He was a broken man but broken things can be fixed.

'Give me your hand.' Lucius did so hesitantly, 'Hmm. Hmm, mmm, mmm. Well, that's funny.'  
' What? '  
' I don't see any... '  
' Any what? '  
' Monster lines. Not a single one. ' The two stared at each other in a shared understanding. Friendship is priceless especially when we need it most.

**So anyone spot the quote? Quite an easy one this time. But a writer cannot live on words alone, reviews please!! **


	6. Secrets

Disclaimer: I own nothing even though I'd love to own Lucius…

Secrets  
You said there's no solution here to find  
You went away and left it all behind  
I tried to open up your heart  
But we always ended up apart oh...  
All the secrets I can not reveal  
Secrets made you cold as steel  
All the secrets that you tried to hide  
You didn't need me by your side

Secrets-silver

Kimberley Lupin hummed a cheerful ditty as she cooked her stew. It was the night that the whole 'family' was due to come and she had been looking forward to it for weeks. She looked over at the scrubbed kitchen table with fondness in her eyes and smiled. It was the first piece of furniture she had bought with Remus and there, sitting at its head, was the man himself. The one person she had always loved and would always love more than anything in the world. His face was despondent and grave, this would not do at all.

Turning down the flame on her stew she sidled over to him in that silent way she had. Suddenly, before he knew what to do with himself, she was ensconced on his lap. Not that he was complaining of course, it's always nice to have an attractive woman in your lap, but he was surprised at this sudden display of affection from the usually shy woman. Surprised he may have been but he was not completely bemused and so he quickly wound his arms around her slender waist.

'Now, I have yer attention. What's the matter wi' yer face?' She brushed her hand down his thin cheek as she spoke as if to emphasise her words. He took in every detail of her before he dared to speak, as if he knew his next words would remove her from his lap. Her soft olive skin, round chocolate eyes and her dark curly hair that flashed red in the light. This secret could tear them apart. Maybe forever. Remus sighed.

'She'll be right here, in this room and it kills me that I know and she doesn't'

'Don't you think it's time now? It has been three years' His beloved face-hardened and he removed her from her position on his lap.

'She's not ready' Kimberley stared into the defiant face of her husband.

'No Remus. _You're_ not ready' before he could argue she turned back to the stove with a sense of finality in the gesture. The door slammed and Kimberley flinched at the sound. Suddenly, it was silent once more.

The house at Grimmauld Place had been many things over the years: An ancestral house, a derelict building and the headquarters. But now it had a new, exciting and cheerful purpose: A home. And never had it seen more excitement than on this night. Even the mice were forced to retreat to the rafters to make room for the hubbub below. The joy of a home full of people was almost too much for Hermione to bear. She had never felt the happiness and love that a family could feel. Her parents had loved her of course but they had been intimidated by her magic and were often distant and she had never fitted in with them. But here, she felt loved. The overwhelming grief that cloaked her in darkness when she was alone in her office every day seemed like an awful and distant memory when she was around them. But there were always the huge gaping holes in her heart that never seemed to be filled. Could only be filled by them. Her parents… and him.

Clearing her mind of dark thoughts, she looked around the filled room. Molly, overbearing in her love for them all, was fussing with the stew while Kimberley insisted it was fine. The weasley men (including Harry) sat playing exploding snap, Ron accusing the twins of cheating as usual. Ginny and Luna stood at the side discussing wedding dresses. Sirius, the gorgeous rogue, was laughing at Kimberley's favourite scrubbed table with the widowed Andromeda. Yes, she had found joy here. But where was Remus?

Her eyes rested on the man who had become like a father to her. Just as she began to take a step towards his solitary form, a hand gripped her upper arm. She turned to protest but was met with the motherly concern that was etched onto the beautiful face of Kimberley Lupin and as though sensing her unease followed in silence. She was led silently through the house that the Lupin's shared with Sirius until they reached the peace and tranquillity of the Black family library. She was pushed gently into a plush armchair and Kimberley sighed softly.

'I love this room,' she whispered, 'I married Remus in this room'. The older woman stared (seemingly oblivious to Hermione's presence) at the walls that were lined with books. Books they had both probably read hundreds of times and were still fascinated by.

'Why did you bring me here?' asked Hermione snapping the woman out of her reverie.

'Because I'm worried. Because I see the pain in your eyes. You think Ron is the only one who knows but I can see it. It used to be nightmares but it's more than that now and I'm worried about you. We both are.' Hermione stared at the insightful muggle. For some reason she felt the need to tell her everything.

'Since Malfoy died I can't get him out of my head and then suddenly a few weeks back a boy arrived at my office…'

**One Hour later…**

'I still haven't looked at the diary' as soon as she finished the story she was enveloped in a warm motherly hug and for the first time she truly let herself cry.

'What does your heart tell you?' Kimberley whispered in her ear. Hermione sobbed loudly.

'**I feel as if I'm in a room screaming and no one even looks up**. I…I don't even know what my heart tells me anymore. The voices of everyone else seem to drown it out. I just don't know.' A final sob was wrenched from her chest and she felt a warm hand wipe away a tear.

'Now, no more tears. Tears may make our heart lighter but they wont heal the wounds of the world' Hermione's head shot up. The words were familiar, she had heard them before. But that time the voice had seemed younger, more exotic.

'That phrase, I've heard it before.' The older woman's face dropped.

'Of course dear. I say it all the time and it is a very popular saying.'

'No, I've only heard it once before and that was long ago' Kimberley shook her head and sighed heavily. She muttered something under her breath that sounded remarkably like 'I warned him' and opened her mouth to speak. Just then, Remus burst in.

'Alright sweetheart? Mia? Why have you left the party?'

'I'm glad you're here take this glamour thingymabob off me. It's time the three of us had a chat.' His face fell and he silently tapped his wand onto her head and then onto his own. Silvery sparks shot from the tip of his wand and showered down around the couple. For a moment Hermione's view of the two was blocked. When it was re-established she was shocked at what she found. Wrinkles had disappeared, grey hairs vanished and the beginnings of middle –aged spread flattened out. Before her very eyes the years began to melt away from the couple.

'What…' she began, until she was suddenly cut off by the female counterpart of the duo.

'I think it's time we told you who we are…'

**How was that? Review me fair readers …x**


	7. Family Man

Disclaimer: You know the drill. Nothing's mine yada yada

Family Man

She had a sulky smile  
She took a standard pose as she presented herself  
She had sultry eyes she made it perfectly clear that  
She was his for a price  
But he said leave me alone I'm a family man  
And my bark is much worse than my bite  
He said leave me alone I'm a family man  
If you push me too hard I just might

Family man- Oldfield Mike

The girl sat down heavily on the bed. Her hands were splayed over her stomach and her eyes stared ahead lifelessly. She was sure that if anyone were to be watching her, they would see nothing but an empty shell. When she had met the boy who had caused all this she had been just six. He had been the only one who understood, her only friend. Now even he had deserted her. Taking a deep breath, Helen stood from the bed. 'Well, look on the bright side. At least orphans have no parents to break the news to,' she sighed, 'only social workers'. Pregnant at 16 was not the way Helen Blundell had imagined leaving the orphanage. In her daydreams Remus had always been there to sweep her away. But now when she needed him most he wasn't there.

Her social worker had not been best pleased when he was told and so she packed her bag and left. Helen shook the snow out of her hair and began to walk. She knew where she was going but what she would do when she got there was another thing entirely. There had been a joke between them when they were young that Remus was a werewolf and if she ever needed him she should just howl and he would be there because they were soul mates and belonged together. She was older now, wiser. She knew it would never work no matter how much she wanted it to. But somehow deep down she had always hope that maybe, just maybe it might work.

She wandered aimlessly through the snow. She had known where she was going, to their place, the spot under the beech tree where they would meet and make love until the sun came up, but now thinking of all the things that had happened in the past two months, questions began to arise. He hadn't met with her in two months, would he ever come? And even if he did would he stand by her and her child?

**7 months later**

Helen cuddled her squealing daughter close to her chest, Her heart pounding as she lifted the brass knocker on the front door.

'Please be home,' she begged, 'please'. The snow had long since melted and now the blossoms were on the trees. In these long months as she grew bigger and rounder, he had not returned. She was well and truly alone. The door flew open and a shaft of light illuminated mother and child.

'Please mrs Granger, you have to help me' Her face was bloody and the dress she had worn for the past seven months was torn and dirty at the hem. The shock on the older woman's face was evident as she took in Helen's dishevelled appearance and the baby girl in her arms.

'You had better come in' the woman stepped aside and led the couple in. The living room was small and warm and Helen had never known such comfort.

'So are you going to explain or do I have to guess?'

'Remus left me and when they found out about the baby they kicked me out. I have been living on the street since then. Is that all?' Her tone was rude, she knew but at that moment all she cared about was getting her daughter safe.

'And the child?'

'She's Remus'' Jean Granger smiled at the young woman. She was 36 and still no baby had appeared and here was this girl, 16 and homeless, with a baby in no time. She should have felt bitter and jealous but all she could feel was pity and longing. Pity that this girl little more than a child herself could be faced with so heavy a burden and longing for a child of her own.

'…. So what do you think?' Helen's voice broke her out of her reverie.

'What?' she said quietly.

'I want you to take my baby.' Jean gasped and nodded.

**An hour later**

Helen turned to leave and smiled over her shoulder at the child in Jean's arms.

'Wait!' she turned, 'What's her name?'

Helen planted a soft kiss on the apple cheek of her daughter, 'Hermione'.

**11 years later**

Her red heels clicked loudly on the pavement, her red gold hair swinging. Memories were blurred now. Golden eyes saw sharper visions but distorted those of the past. As Helen walked the streets of London her scarlet lips smiling, she tried to recall the London she had known 11 years ago. Her beauty dazzled streetwalkers as she went but that was not her concern. Not today. Today she would find her daughter and they would be reunited. Cold hands touched cold face imagining a flush of pleasure that she knew was impossible. To flush she needed blood and those days were behind her now.

'Helen! Helen, is that you?' Kimberley kept her head forward. She had not been Helen for a long time and he could not recognise her. Whoever he was he needed to leave. Everyone thought her either dead or in America it needed to stay that way. How would she explain her never changing face or the fact that when the sun came out, she stayed in. No, he must go.

'Helen!' The mystery man shouted loudly and began to run quickly along the street behind her. The stench of what she knew to be a werewolf filled her nostrils. Suddenly a warm hand was placed on her shoulder. She turned to face him in horror. A touch was dangerous for humans. If a hand lingered too long it could prove fatal. Then, if her heart was beating it would have stopped, she noticed his face.

'Remus' the word came out as little more than a breath. He was older, more scarred but just as beautiful as her human memories allowed her to remember. His eyes sparkled with that blue grey colour she loved so much and his blonde hair though now streaked with grey that she knew was fake from the smell of magic surrounding him, still flopped adorably into his eyes. As she assessed him, he did the same to her. Her eyes had changed from the chocolate that he loved to a liquid gold that was equally attractive and her red gold hair that had previously been mousy brown swung ferociously whenever she moved. But her face was the same. Her mannerisms were the same. It was definitely she.

'What happened to you? What happened to my lovely Helen?' His hands touched her face and she felt the surge that always came when her power was in action. Her own face appeared in her head and she gasped. She was his soul mate. But no, now was not the time. He had betrayed her. There would be time for love later on.

'Don't touch me! Helen is dead! Only Kimberley remains and _she _does not belong to you' the anger in her eyes shocked him and he stepped back as if burned.

'I'm sorry maybe there has been some mistake.'

'No please wait I didn't mean it to come out like that. I was Helen once. But no longer.'

'What happened to you?' Her eyes closed as if a great pain had overcome her.

'Let's take a walk' she grabbed his hand in her ice cold one. She knew just the place.

**Two hours later**

'So I went to America. Forks actually, in Washington. Another coven took me in, the Cullens. Nice bunch. They taught me their 'vegetarian' lifestyle. When I came back I searched for you but I could find you nowhere'

His mouth gaped. 'So we have a daughter? And you are a vampire?' She laughed, her scarlet lips turning upwards.

'I bet you think I'm crazy! Sometimes I think I am crazy! I can understand why you don't believe me but believe this. Our daughter is amazing! She's so beautiful and smart. She reminds me of you. You'd be proud of her.' Tears gathered in her eys and her voice grew thick with emotion. Without thinking he stood and wrapped his arms around the sobbing vampire. She pushed him away gently.

'I'm not going to deny it and say I don't still love you and we made something great together but you left me and I'm still not ready to forgive you yet.' He nodded silently.

'Maybe its time I told you were I went. I am a wizard, not only that but a werewolf. I bet your nose already told you that though right? In my world there was a war. And well, I was on a mission for the order who I work for. I thought you'd be there when I got back. But I returned and the nuns told me you had gone. Looked at me like I had the plague those nuns did. I guess I know why now. I even went to the Grangers. Jean had a baby do you believe?' he laughed, 'that was she wasn't it? Our little girl?' she nodded, tears running wildly down her cheeks.

'I'll never leave you again, I promise. I love you so much'

'Oh God! Remus I love you too and we _will _find her again. Our Hermione'

**Twenty Years later**

'So you're my parents?'

'Yes, we thought it best you stayed with the Grangers. You had a loving home with them, I couldn't take that away from you no matter what I wanted.' Hermione smiled tearfully and ran to embrace them.

'It's a good job we told you now because your werewolf gene will stop you from ageing any further' Hermione laughed at her mother.

'Nice way to bring it down babe.' Remus laughed. Soon the whole family joined in. Hermione cried. She finally belonged. But for how long?

**If you didn't work it out. Kimberley has the power to see people's soul mates by just touching them. How could she use that to help her daughter do you think?**


	8. Papa Don't Preach

**Papa Don't Preach**

But my friends keep telling me to give it up

Saying I'm too young, I ought to live it up

What I need right now is some good advice, please

Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep

Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep

But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh

I'm gonna keep my baby, mmm...

Papa don't preach- Madonna

It could have been hours or maybe it was years that passed as Lucius sat on what appeared to be the floor of the world beyond the veil. It seemed to Lucius that life had well and truly deserted him. He would never again feel the air on his face or the sound of children's laughter. There was no way back and no way that he could make amends for what Voldemort had made him had done his very best to divert him but to no avail. The thought of life as it had once been was always lurking in the back of his mind. They talked of everything and nothing but both avoided the topic that haunted them the most. Eventually, when both of them could take no more, Lucius spoke the words that they had been almost afraid to voice.

'Why are we still here? You said everyone else you have known has moved on. This being some sort of purgatory if you will. Why haven't we?' Regulus smiled.

'Ahh, now that is the question is it not?' he replied in the perfect imitation of his aristocratic friend.

Suddenly, a light flew down in a shaft before them. A sound like the roar of rushing water filled their ears and both men looked at each other in confusion. A voice, soft and feminine, spoke to them like a whisper of wind in their ears.

'You remain here because you were not destined to die. The Gods have seen your repentance of your wicked ways in life and have decided to grant you another chance. Step into the light and be free. Choose wisely in this new life.'

A smile the likes of which had never been seen on Lucius' face since he was 13 years old spread across his two of them stepped excitedly into the light and felt their souls lift as if a heavenly hand had been placed beneath them to lift them to heights they had never before experienced. A bell rang out loudly like the sounds of the abhorsen calling them free from death. Soon the voice returned and whispered into their ears her stern parting words.

'On the third toll of the bell you will return to the place from whence you came to this world. Seek me out. If you do not within six weeks of your return, something may befall you which you would do well to avoid. Good luck'

As the third bell tolled loudly a cold wind blew around them lifting their robes to cover their face. When they could see again they were surrounded by a room familiar to them both.

'The department of mysteries' Regulus breathed the words like a prayer. The room was the same as it had always been. As if nothing had changed. But of course, that wasn't true. Everything had changed. A sweet song seemed to play in Lucius' head as if his mind itself were rejoicing his freedom.

'So, to Grimmauld Place?' Regulus asked hopefully.

' Yes, I think that would be sufficient' With a crack of apparation, they were gone. Not even seeing the shocked faces of the unspeakable who had just seen two death eaters come back from the dead.

**At Grimmauld Place…**

Hermione Lupin, as she had called herself for the past six months, raced into the kitchen of Grimmauld Place and looked around frantically.

'Molly have you seen dad?' she asked, a nervous edge to her voice. Molly looked at the girl she had often thought of as her own child in concern.

'He's in the garden with your mum sweetie. Is there something wrong?' Hermione shot the older woman a reassuring smile.

'Nothing important. Merry Christmas' Molly smiled at the retreating back of the girl she loved as a daughter. She would never understand young people.

'Dad, can we talk? Please' Kimberley looked at her daughter from her place in her husbands lap and smiled.

'Do you want me to go hinny? Is this one of those father-daughter things?' Hermione kissed her gently on her cheek and whispered something fast and incoherent to the outside listener into her mothers ear. Kimberley nodded and placed a cool lipped kiss of her husbands forehead.

'You'd better go to the library for this. They have comfy chairs there.' With that she removed herself from his lap and watched them disappear into the house. When Hermione arrived at the library Remus following shyly behind her, she fell heavily into one of the plush armchairs he had bought the week before.

'Now, sweetheart, what's wrong?' Hermione took a deep breath and asked what she had wanted to ask for quite some time.

'I asked mum how she felt when she found out she was pregnant. But I wondered, how did you feel about having a daughter? Were you pleased?'

' Oh darling. That's a difficult question to answer. You were 11 by the time I even knew you existed. It's hard to say how I felt. I guess I was pleased. I always wanted a child and didn't think I would ever have one especially with someone as special as your mother.'

Hermione breathed a sigh of relief.

'So, if I told you that I were pregnant, you wouldn't be angry?'

Remus gasped.

'You're pregnant? Who?'

She closed her eyes and remembered the night it happened. He had been so sweet but she hadn't expected this to happen. And it wasn't just the baby that worried her, she still hadn't looked at that diary. What if this baby was the one from the prophecy? How could she cope with that?

Remus wrapped his arms round his daughter as her body shook with sobs. He would kill whoever had done this to his baby girl. They couldn't do this to her and get away with it.

'I'm so sorry daddy. We had been clubbing and he was looking after me. He was sweet and I was attracted to him anyway. It just happened'

'And he is?'

'He is Sirius'

Suddenly another voice joined them.

'What was Sirius?'

'Oh my God!'

**I know that was a lot for me but I've made you wait so long it was about time. **


End file.
